Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Never Giving Up

I recently read an article from a newsletter that I regularly receive from www.crochetmagazine.com where I was reminded that when faced with the possibility of having a long term illness or disability some people might decide to give up. Here are some women that decided to not give up but to put their focus on service and finding joy in what they have.

Crocheting for the Visually Impaired

From Marie: ..... My mother is 76 and legally blind due to the wet form of macular degeneration. She loves to crochet, as do I, and she thought she would never be able to do it again after losing most of her sight, but I have found a way to help her crochet.

Mom uses a large hook, usually size N or M, and because she has trouble seeing the stitches to crochet into them, I suggested she use patterns that call for crocheting into spaces rather than stitches, since they are easier to feel. Granny patterns are perfect for this, so she has been making granny-square and granny-rectangle afghans. Mom has trouble starting them, so I do the first two rows to get her going, and then she is off.

This is great therapy for her to keep her mind and hands busy. Mom donates the afghans she makes to my church to give to those in need. She's a true believer in "where there's a will, there's a way."


From Janet: I have a friend who has been completely blind for at least 20 years. She was an avid crocheter before she went blind, and she still is. Because it took a number of years for her to lose her sight, she was able to adapt the hooks she used and the way she crocheted to her slowly diminishing eyesight. By the time she could no longer see, she was already crocheting by feel.

..... The afghans she makes are colorful and beautiful, and they all go to several of our church's charities.

From Chani: ..... I actually rediscovered crochet because of a temporary, yet almost complete, visual impairment. In 2007 and 2008, I was undergoing treatment for diabetic retinopathy, and at one point, I was almost completely blind. Visual aids didn't even help. I was in despair, scared that I might never be able to do anything creative again.

I decided to pick up a crochet hook and some spare yarn just for something to keep my hands busy. I thought that because it's counting stitches I could do crochet by touch. My work might not be perfect, but at least I could still do it.

I would sit for hours, working and counting my stitches. It was amazing therapy! At 25, I was facing the prospect that I would be completely disabled and never able to work creatively again. But I discovered that even though I couldn't see I still had crochet. Maybe I couldn't follow a pattern, but who cared? I had never learned how to read one anyway! As long as I could feel and count, I could still crochet.

Eventually, I finished a queen-size blanket. A few weeks later, I gained vision back in one eye. I was nervous to look at the blanket and see every missed stitch and every flaw. When I finally looked at it, though, I thought it was the most beautiful project I had ever completed because I had made it when I was losing everything else that I thought was important. I never realized when I was learning how to crochet, using my fingers as hooks at age 4, that I had been learning one of the most important tools I would need later in life.

This article came from the following link http://www.crochetmagazine.com/newsletters.php?mode=article&article_id=550&key=NL00

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Twitter quote by SeanMalarkey

@SeanMalarkey When a friend is in trouble, don't annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up something appropriate and do it.

Saturday, May 30, 2009

Twitter Quote by Mike_Wesely

@Mike_Wesely "Only a man who has felt ultimate despair is capable of feeling ultimate bliss." Alexandre Dumas

Painful

When speaking to a woman that was going through a painful divorce. She said "when I speak with you I feel better."

I think it's important to realize that when we are going through a painful experience we don't have to go through it alone. We can find friends that are willing to listen and have compassion on us.

It's important to not think that you are alone. That is too overwhelming to think as well as incorrect. You have many resources to pull from; your family, friends, support groups, books, counselors, etc. Seek out help, don't go it alone.

****REMEMBER: YOU ARE NOT ALONE****

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Struggling

When I notice some one is missing from a class that usually is there I call them and ask if they are ok...I am concerned about my friends. One woman in particular kept on telling me that she was going to come but every week was absent. I tried to meet her at her home, but something always was coming up so that she would cancel my visit. Deep inside I wondered if something was very wrong.

Finally the other day the woman showed up for class. I spoke with her to find out what was wrong. I found out that she was struggling with an addiction. She felt ashamed to show up to class due to the addiction and didn't want any one in her home while struggling. She felt that she needed to deal with it by herself.

If you are dealing with an addiction or if your friend is dealing with one, make sure you/they don't deal with it alone. Some times in our lives we need to ask for support/help from others, because we aren't strong enough. There are so many people who would like to help including friends, family, and outside resources. It would be a shame if you had to carry that burden by yourself.

There are so many times in our lives as woman that we give. We love to give and serve others. We some times have to allow others to serve us and receive the blessings. When we allow others to serve/help/support us we gain friendships that we may have never had. We find out that WE ARE NOT ALONE.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

To Forgive is Divine

To truly forgive someone that has hurt you is to erase the notions that were planted in your thoughts about yourself by the person that you are forgiving.

When some one hurts us, we internalize it and analyze it. We often think that the reason that we have been hurt/abused is due to something that we did, or that we are lacking...we think to ourselves "oh I was abused because I am not worthy of love." or "I was abused because I am ugly" and "I deserve it because I am such an awful person." None of these thoughts are correct, they are not rational at all. NO ONE DESERVES TO BE ABUSED OR HURT.

The true reason that we were abused is due to the lack of something in the abusers personality. It is not our fault. We have been innocent victims, and there is nothing wrong with us nor do/did we deserve the treatment that we got.

To carry around with us a hatred toward another person, is like carrying around a big back pack full of heavy rocks. Hatred is like a disease that that teares us up from the inside, it's similar to cancer continually growing causing pain to the injured. The only way to get rid of this horrible burden/disease is to remove it.

To remove this burden is to forgive the individual that has wronged us. Forgiveness is a healing balm, that soothes the burden. When we are able to fully forgive someone, there is no burden to carry.

Forgiveness is not an easy process, nor is it something you can do over night. I know that I have done much struggling with myself and the Lord.

The Lord will assist you when you go to Him. He is waiting to heal you. He has already taken your burden upon him. In the Garden of Gethsemane as he bled from every pore he took upon Him every sin, every hurt, and every burden. I believe as he was there that he saw each one of us that has been hurt, that he felt every single pain we would ever have and because of this sacrifice and his willingness to take all that pain upon him we are able to become free, free from the burdens and pains---Who would be best to succor His people, than one who has suffered the pains and has known first hand what the suffering of his people has been---"He only one..."

He is waiting for you to come to Him, he will give you peace.

John 14: 27
27 Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.

John 16:33
33 These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.

Where Can I Turn for Peace?
1. Where can I turn for peace? Where is my solace When other sources cease to make me whole? When with a wounded heart, anger or malice, I draw myself apart, searching my soul?

2. Where, when my aching grows, Where, when I languish, Where in my need to know, where can I run? Where is the quiet hand to calm my anguish? Who, who can understand? He, only One.

3. He answers privately, Reaches my reaching In my Gethsemane, Savior and Friend. Gentle the peace he finds for my beseeching. Constant he is and kind, Love without end.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Hope and Peace

".....Hope is the anchor of our souls. I know of no one who is not in need of hope—young or old, strong or weak, rich or poor. As the prophet Ether exhorted, “Wherefore, whoso believeth in God might with surety hope for a better world, yea, even a place at the right hand of God, which hope cometh of faith, maketh an anchor to the souls of men, which would make them sure and steadfast, always abounding in good works, being led to glorify God.” 3

Nephi admonished those of his day, “Wherefore, ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men … , feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eternal life.” 4

Everybody in this life has their challenges and difficulties. That is part of our mortal test. The reason for some of these trials cannot be readily understood except on the basis of faith and hope because there is often a larger purpose which we do not always understand. Peace comes through hope....

....Last summer I visited Elder Orin Voorheis at his parents’ home in Pleasant Grove, Utah. He is a big, handsome, splendid young man who served in the Argentina Buenos Aires South Mission. One night, about 11 months into his mission, some armed robbers accosted Elder Voorheis and his companion. In a senseless act of violence, one of them shot Elder Voorheis in the head. For days he hovered between life and death, unable to speak, hear, move, or even breathe on his own. Through the faith and prayers of a host of people over a long period of time, he eventually was taken off life support and brought back to the United States.

After months of extensive hospitalization and therapy, Elder Voorheis became stronger, but he was still paralyzed and unable to speak. Progress was slow. His parents decided that they should bring their son home and care for him in the loving atmosphere of their own family. However, their modest home lacked the space or equipment to give the needed therapy. Many kind neighbors, friends, and benefactors pitched in to build an addition to the home and provide physical therapy equipment.

Elder Voorheis is still almost completely paralyzed and unable to speak, but he has a wonderful spirit and can respond to questions with hand movements. He still wears his missionary badge. His parents do not ask, “Why did this happen to our noble son, who was serving at the call of the Master?” No one has a certain answer except perhaps in circumstances where higher purposes are served. We must walk in faith. We recall the Savior’s reply to the question, “Who did sin, this man, or his parents, that he was born blind?” The Savior answered that no one was at fault but that the works of God might be manifest in him. 5 Rather than harbor bitterness, the members of the Voorheis family bow their heads and say to the Lord: “Thy will be done. We have been grateful for him every day of his life, and with the help of others we will willingly bear the burden of caring for him.”

My purpose in visiting Elder Voorheis was to join his father, his bishop, his home teacher, and others in giving him a blessing of hope. Some may ask, “Is there hope for Elder Voorheis in this life?” I believe there is great hope for everyone! Sometimes we ask God for miracles, and they often happen but not always in the manner we expect. The quality of Elder Voorheis’s life is less than desirable, but the influence of his life on others is incalculable and everlasting both here and in Argentina. Indeed, after his accident the Kilómetro 26 Branch, where he served in Argentina, grew rapidly and quickly qualified for the construction of a chapel.

Hope is trust in God’s promises, faith that if we act now, the desired blessings will be fulfilled in the future. Abraham “against hope believed in hope, that he might become the father of many nations.” Contrary to human reason, he trusted God, “fully persuaded” that God would fulfill His promises of giving Abraham and Sarah a child in their old ages. 6

A few years ago, Sister Joyce Audrey Evans, a young mother in Belfast, Northern Ireland, was having trouble with a pregnancy. She went to the hospital, where one of the nurses told her she would probably lose the baby. Sister Evans replied: “But I can’t give up. … You have to give me hope.” Sister Evans later recalled: “I couldn’t give up hope until all reason for hope was gone. It was something I owed to my unborn child.”

Three days later she had a miscarriage. She wrote: “For one long moment, I felt nothing. Then a profound feeling of peace flowed through me. With the peace came understanding. I knew now why I couldn’t give up hope in spite of all the circumstances: you either live in hope or you live in despair. Without hope, you cannot endure to the end. I had looked for an answer to prayers and was not disappointed; I was healed in body and rewarded with a spirit of peace. Never before had I felt so close to my Heavenly Father; never before had I felt such peace. …

“The miracle of peace was not the only blessing to come from this experience. Some weeks later, I fell to thinking about the child I had lost. The Spirit brought to my mind the words from Genesis 4:25 [Gen. 4:25]: ‘And she bare a son, and called his name Seth: For God, said she, hath appointed me another seed. …’

“A few months later, I became pregnant again. When my son was born, he was declared to be ‘perfect.’ ” He was named Evan Seth. 7

Peace in this life is based upon faith and testimony. We can all find hope from our personal prayers and gain comfort from the scriptures. Priesthood blessings lift us and sustain us. Hope also comes from direct personal revelation, to which we are entitled if we are worthy. We also have the security of living in a time when a prophet who holds and exercises all of the keys of God’s kingdom is on the earth.

Samuel Smiles wrote: “ ‘Hope is like the sun, which, as we journey towards it, casts the shadow of our burden behind us.’ … Hope sweetens the memory of experiences well loved. It tempers our troubles to our growth and our strength. It befriends us in dark hours, excites us in bright ones. It lends promise to the future and purpose to the past. It turns discouragement to determination.” 8

The unfailing source of our hope is that we are sons and daughters of God and that His Son, the Lord Jesus Christ, saved us from death. How can we know that Jesus truly is our Savior and Redeemer? In human terms His reality is almost undefinable, but His presence can be known unequivocally by the Spirit if we continually seek to live under the shadow of His influence. In the Book of Mormon we read the account of Aaron expounding the gospel to Lamoni’s father. He told him, “If thou wilt bow down before God … and call on his name in faith, believing that ye shall receive, then shalt thou receive the hope which thou desirest.” 9 The old king followed this to the letter and received a witness of the truth that Aaron had imparted. As a result, he and all his household were converted and came to know the Lord.

Our greatest hope comes from the knowledge that the Savior broke the bands of death. His victory came through His excruciating pain, suffering, and agony. He atoned for our sins if we repent. In the Garden of Gethsemane came the anguished cry, “O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt.” 10 Luke described the intensity of the agony: “And being in an agony he prayed more earnestly: and his sweat was as it were great drops of blood falling to the ground.” 11

All of us can find hope in Peter’s experience during the events leading to the Crucifixion. Perhaps the Lord was speaking to all of us when He said to Peter:

“Behold, Satan hath desired to have you, that he may sift you as wheat:

“But I have prayed for thee, that thy faith fail not: and when thou art converted, strengthen thy brethren.”

Peter responded, “Lord, I am ready to go with thee, both into prison, and to death.”

Then the Savior told him, “Peter, the cock shall not crow this day, before … thou shalt thrice deny that thou knowest me.” 12

As Peter watched the events unfold, he was identified as a disciple of Christ. A maid said, “This man was also with him,” and Peter answered that he knew Him not. Two others identified Peter as His disciple. Peter again denied knowing the Savior. And while he was speaking a cock crowed.

“And the Lord turned, and looked upon Peter. And Peter remembered the word of the Lord, how he had said unto him, Before the cock crow, thou shalt deny me thrice.

“And Peter went out, and wept bitterly.” 13

This experience strengthened Peter to the point that he would never fail again and was known as the rock. His hope became firmly anchored to an eternal Rock, even our Redeemer, Jesus Christ. 14 As the chief Apostle he carried the work forward faithfully and valiantly.

As Peter gained hope after a moment of weakness, you, I, and everyone can enjoy the hope that comes from the knowledge that God truly lives. Such hope springs from the belief that if we have faith, somehow He will help us through our challenges—if not in this life, then surely in the life to come. As Paul said to the Corinthians, “If in this life only we have hope in Christ, we are of all men most miserable.” 15 In the eternal scheme of things, wrongs will be righted. In the perfect justice of the Lord, all who live worthily will be compensated for blessings not enjoyed here.

In my opinion, there has never been in the history of this Church a reason for so much hope for the future of the Church and its members worldwide. I believe and testify that we are moving to a higher level of faith and activity than there ever has been. I pray that each of us will be found holding up our end of the line in this great army of righteousness. Each of us will come before the Holy One of Israel and account for our personal righteousness. We are told that “he employeth no servant there.” 16

There has come with my apostolic calling a sure witness of the life and ministry of the Savior. I declare with Job, “I know that my redeemer liveth.” 17 My witness of this “is in heaven.” 18 Jesus is the Christ, the Savior of all mankind. Joseph Smith was the inspired Prophet who restored the saving keys, authority, and organization delegated to him under the direction of God the Father and His Son, the Lord Jesus Christ. Of this I testify in the holy name of Jesus Christ, amen."

To read this entire article go to the following link

http://www.lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=2354fccf2b7db010VgnVCM1000004d82620aRCRD&locale=0&sourceId=0d4b6a4430c0c010VgnVCM1000004d82620a____&hideNav=1



Wednesday, April 15, 2009

The Only Way

The other day I spoke with one of my friends and she said that the only way that she could finally find peace in her life was to forgive the person that had abused her.

She said it took awhile for her to be able to let go of the wrongs done to her, but once she had started on the path of forgiveness, she was finally able to let go.

What a relief she felt when she was able to let go of that heavy, heavy burden.

I asked her how she was able to forgive, what was it that she did? She told me "through prayer, it was the only way to find peace"

Matt. 11: 29-30
29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.

30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

Twitter Quotes by SeanMalarkey

The practice of forgiveness is our most important contribution to the healing of the world.
Marianne Williamson

It is not what we get. But who we become, what we contribute... that gives meaning to our lives.
Tony Robbins

Friends and Family Finding Peace Part 2

My friends and family said:

Dan Hamon
"by quieting your heart, your fears, your concerns and just listening to peace and being one with it"

Kathy Baron
"There are 5 ways I find peace and happiness; reading my scriptures, praying, family, friends, and through the chooses I make"

Adrienne Navarroli
"By making it yourself...."

Gary Hamon
" 'Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you...' Sometimes it's all in who you ask."

Laura Lee Pautler
"By just Deciding to be happy...or at peace with the moment."

Kristie Simmons
"Through the understanding of how I matter to God. I really matter.... He loves me... that brings me a whole lot of peace."

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Blessings from being poor

I spoke to a friend that had underwent very financially challenging times while raising her family. She told me that it has blessed her life as well as her children's; "...they have become creative people. They have become hard workers....They're not lazy...I would not have developed such a compassionate heart....I cannot see anyone go hungry now."

Friday, March 13, 2009

Finding Meaning

Victor Frankl, was a man and physiologist who survived the concentration camps and who wrote Man's Search for Meaning, said that in the concentration camp the prisoners weren't allowed to stop a suicide attempt of a fellow prisoners so the person's friends would have to try to talk him/her out of it before it was too late.

In talking about these conversations he said "...the typical argument---they had nothing more to expect from life....it was the question of getting them to realize that life was still expecting something from them; something in the future was expected of them"

"This uniqueness and singleness which distinguishes each individual and gives a meaning to his existence had a bearing on creative work as much as it does on human love. When the impossibility of replacing a person is realized, it allows the responsibility which a man has for his existence and its continuance to appear in all it's magnitude. A man who becomes conscious of the responsibility he bears toward a human being who affectionately waits for him, or to an unfinished work, will never be able to throw away his life. He knows the 'why' for his existence, and will be able to bear almost any 'how'." (p. 101 Mans Search for Meaning)

Monday, March 9, 2009

Spiral of Silence

During World War II when the German people wouldn't speak up, when they saw the horror that was occurring many of them choose not to speak. Could the horror been stopped if enough people said something? Years ago in New York City a woman was attacked and raped in front of on lookers. Not one attempted to help the woman---what happened? This is called the Spiral of Silence.


Abuse is occurring in too many homes (varying types and amounts) and yet no one says any thing. Too many people without voices. Abusers rely on helpless individuals that don't say anything.


If you are being abused or abusing some one please seek out help. Tell some one, don't allow the abuse to continue. Don't be a part of the Spiral of Silence.


This week I will be giving a seminar at Joan Male Family Support Center . This center helps families (with children) in crisis.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Friends and Family Finding Peace Part 1

My friends and family said:

Denise Hoca
"I find peace and happiness when I do what I know is right."

Kristie Simmons
"I have found happiness within... learning who I am and just how much I really matter to Father (Heavenly Father). The peace that comes in having that knowledge is beyond words."

Monday, March 2, 2009

Wise Words

I spoke to a woman the other day that underwent great adversity in her life caused by another. Other women going through what she has would have blamed themselves and internalized what had happened.

What does she say about it? "It's something that happened to me it's not who I am"---wow what an incredible insight and what an incredible woman.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Where some other's have found peace

Some Twitter friends responses:

schattke "Peace is when my heart can be healed of all issues and I am one with my self, others and God."

pjvc "God of course!"

jaddudek "over come issues by surrounding yourself with great people"

Good Comes from Bad things

Yesterday I had an appointment with a woman (my friend) who lost her daughters in a fire. She said something very profound "when something bad happens something always good comes from it."

I asked her "what do you feel good came from your daughters deaths?"

She said "due to their death many peoples lives have been saved. We were able to help many people also."

When the fire happened the girls were trapped in their bedroom, the windows were the only way out. Unfortunately they were too high for the girls to reach as well as too narrow for their father to rescue them through.

After the fire occurred my friend was interviewed by several news papers. Due to those articles it brought attention to the hazardous windows. Many people in the neighborhood soon after the tragedy replaced their windows with safer ones.

Due to the lost of their daughters they sought out other people that were in need of help. They had the need to help heal other wounded hearts. Through the years, my friends, have taken in many individuals that would have been other wise homeless.

Saturday, February 28, 2009

Where do you turn for Peace?

Here is my answer: http://tinyurl.com/djhrh

Losing Daughters

Today I will be speaking with a woman who lost her daughters in a fire. Whenever she talks about trials she always says "every one should be grateful for trials." She includes herself when she says this. What a remarkable women!!! I feel it a privileged to know her and to be able to see and hear her perspective on life.

Friday, February 27, 2009

Tragedy

Last week I heard the story of a women who lost her daughter through suicide. What a powerful story and what a women or strength.

These women that I am collecting stories from have a great deal to teach all of us. They have all suffered in some way and yet have become stronger because of it.

The answers to how, what, why and when are remarkable to me.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Aspiring Author

At the age of 38 I realized the impact the many stories I have heard of brave and courageous women has had upon me. As a group I have come to consider them as “Women of Strength”. Their stories are heart wrenching full of trial, tribulation, and sometimes tragedy.

Having known so many Women of Strength personally, I felt inspired to collect their stories and write them down. I have struggled with the idea for some time now. I feared making these women relive the pain as I had them retell their stories. Many of these events happened long ago but they speak of them as if they had just happened. Their stories are raw and full of emotion.

I have also feared the ghosts of my own past may come to haunt me as I have I listened to their stories.

As I write, listen and contemplate this book, I pray earnestly and in humility that when it is finished women's hearts that have been troubled may be eased and soothed. Eased and soothed by the stories of other women that have gone through similar experiences and yet have come out of it as women of strength; stronger, at peace and full of hope.